Most people talk to their pets in their most retarded voice. We've all seen this. Most people seem to revert to their most baby-ish, infantilizing voice the moment they see their dog or cat.
When my father sees our cat, he instantly becomes one of the patients from One Flew Over the Cuckoo. And I don't mean Jack Nicholson or one of the high-functioning ones; I mean the guys they have to strap to their bed at night.
The cat comes bounding in looking for milk, my dad starts going "pst!" "psst!" "PST!"... "pst!"
The cat mews. My dad goes "Dah!" "Dah!"... "pst!" Cat mews again. My dad THUNDEROUSLY claps his hands together. Cat wanders away. "ah!-dah-DAH-dah-dah!"... "pst!" Thunder hand clap again.
Maybe in reaction to this, when I interact with pets I take it to the other extreme. I talk to household animals as if they were a rational... college-educated... human being. So when the cat comes bounding in, I look at him, calmly: "Baby Tiger. I'm finishing my tax return. Yeah, I'm still waiting on a W-2 from Illinois." The cat puts his paws on my ankle. "You're being selfish. I haven't seen you for two days, and now you show up with these impositions." The cat mews. "I didn't get you Iams cat food this time, I got your Purina. It was discounted with my Safeway club card." He mee-ows again. "Baby Tiger, there's a recession on."
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