*gulp* :) "Aahhhh"

Word got out that Henry's patent would kill the Pepsi-Coke rivalry for good. It sounded too good to be true, but the 11th grader had managed to isolate the First Sip of soda, and could package that sensation repeatedly in a bottle or can, so that each successive sip was just as delicious and refreshing as the first. The headhunters, executives, and lawyers from each of the two corporations descended via helicopters on Meltdown Comics, where stubby young Henry often went after C period, and swarmed him with offers, cajoling, and warm grins. For who wouldn't pay more to always have that first lovely hit of sugar and carbonation, in perpetual waves until the very last drop?

A People Fight

It all went down in a large, open mall parking lot, weekday afternoon, with different People showing up. First Ellen Page and Thomas Hayden Church came and were like, "Hoity-toity, muah-ha, Pulitzer to you!" to the second group, which was Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, just arriving, and who were like, "Bwah-ha-ha, zing, rimshot to you!" as they threw water melons and mallets at T. H. Church and Ellen Page, but who in turn deflected those flying props using trust fund portfolios and tenure notifications. But then, on the edge of the lot, Donald Sutherland and his Academy Award-winning son Timothy Hutton arrived, and they were all, "Hup-pup-pup, 9-to-5, mortgage, Christmas cards in your face!" Page and Church countered: "Fellowships! fractals and chaos, you fucks!" Sandler-Rogen interjected: "Viral videos! rule of threes, you fuckers!" Sutherland-Hutton got up in their face: "Commuting! nuclear family, you fucks!!" Page to Sandler: "Vulgar fucks!" Hutton to Church: "Elitist fucks!" Rogen to Sutherland: "Bourge-y fucks!" 

Then another group showed up, carrying picket signs, with a judge and a jury, and interrupted. "Any of you liberal-fornicating fucks seen Larry Flynt?"