Mr. Total Dickhead

                                                                             "Hoe-iest Hoes ...  
     Before Bro-iest Bros."

Birthday:
May 24th, 1984 
Favorite Film:
The Boondock Saints 
runner-up: the independent film I'm currently co-producing. it's called Player Haters (I wanted to call it just The Player but some other dumb movie already had that; or, we might just call it The Rapist) 
Favorite Video Games: 
God of War III, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Grand Theft Auto IV, and the classic Grand Theft Auto III, Resident Evil 5,  and the classic Resident Evil 4, Heavy Rain, Killzone 2, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II, Call of Duty: World of Warfare, and the classic Call of Duty: World at War
Favorite non-magazine book / Only novel I've finished: (books be for pussies, yo!) The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen (so f*ckin' funny) (not many people have read this one, but it's from the p.o.v. of this funny dude who really wants to get laid and play video games and he makes fun of like er'body)
runner-up: first 22 pages and a few other random parts of American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis - but that thing is sooooooooo long.
Favorite T.V. Show:
"It's Always Sunny"!
runner-up: "Dexter" (only seen season 3 though)

Aloha, faggots! Mr. Total Dickhead here. So I was chillaxin' sippin' an iced skim latte this afternoon with three of my best guy friends-that-I-will-betray-imminently and we were talking 'bout the clubs where we've heard there's a lotta' hot action lately. Also, what next weekend might be like if we get really, really krunk this time. And then Marcus, my bro-who-I'd-f*ck-over-at-the-drop-of-a-hat, starts talking up his gal Katie. And I was like, "Show me her pic on your Droid right now, bitch!"
And Marcus, was like "Whatever, dude. I know your scheme."
God, f*ck Marcus sometimes, ya' know? I hope he crashes the maserati his dad bought him into a ravine. Anyways, as the caffeine kicked in or whatever, I got to talking about my theory (speaking of my "scheme") about most average dudes and how they are more likely to hit on a chick if that chick has ever dated one of the dude's dude friends. I'm trying to coin this Theory or this Effect, but I haven't settled on a name.
And then Clarke, my other buddy-who-better-watch-his-god-damn-back, chimes in and says, "You could call it the Truffle Effect?"
And I'm like, "Like a sweet chocolate, like that kind of truffle?"
And Marcus goes, "The girl is - what? - like sweet and a bit of a luxury... ?"
And Clarke is like, "No, a truffle like a special fungus a pig has to root around to find... like the girl is hidden from you, but your friend is another pig who's found her first, and now you get to sniff her out too..."
"I'm not buying it!" says Adam, my other friend-who's-faith-in-humanity-I'd-like-to-face-f*ck. "Maybe just call it the Strawberry Effect."
We didn't settle on a name for my theory but, damn, I hope to put it into practice like PRONTO ("soon"). After that I had to split to go look at a rough cut of my indie film. It's sooooo tight, but the violence has to kick it up a notch if we're gonna' get money back on this one. Anyways, until next time! This has been: Mr. Total Dickhead.
Aloha (that means "goodbye" too), faggots!